Skip to main content


Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 27 May 2009 - 18:56 Permalink

This is obvious nonsense. Everybody knows that Elvis was abducted by aliens. He was trained as a marksman and sent to earth to assassinate John F. Kennedy, after which he returned to the planet Tralfamadore where he is living in a menage a trois with Marylin Monroe and Jimmy Hoffa. The aliens left a simulacrum in his place to divert suspicion. The simulacrum did not work very well -- it wasn't built to last -- and required a bizarre diet and megadoses of drugs to keep going. Even so, it got increasingly bloated and strange-looking, and finally wore out after 15 years. You can't prove I'm wrong.