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How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction

Author(s)
Ann Druffel
Publisher
Piatkus
Edition / Year
1998
File under:
In the section labelled

Cover of book with stereotypical big-eyed alien (yawn)

Undeniably many people believe they have been abducted by aliens, and why they should do so is a subject worthy of some serious study. It is interesting to contrast Susan A. Clancy's excellent recently published Abducted : How People Come to Believe They Were Kidnapped by Aliens with Anne Druffel's credulous drivel.

Clancy's is a thoughtful and careful study of the phenomenon, which sheds some light on how otherwise quite sane and balanced individuals come to share this particular modern delusion. I would not want to oversimplify her conclusions but I think she would concur with the view that the most common cause underlying these experiences is sleep paralysis. This is a state in which the sleeper becomes partially awakened, unable to move while at the same time subject to terrifying hallucinations. In the past witches, ghosts or incubi were often blamed: now it is aliens.

Clancy takes a sympathetic, yet sceptical, view of her subjects' recollections and is able to demonstrate convincingly how media reporting and television science-fiction shows have contributed to the mythology of abduction stories. By contrast, Anne Druffel starts from the assumption that alien abductions are real and the only area of uncertainty she admits is in whether the aliens actually come from Outer Space, or, alternatively, they enter their victims's bedrooms through interdimensional portals. Likewise, she places an equal value on all of her interviewees' countermeasures against abduction, no matter how banally superstitious they may appear; she presents us with an catalogue of defences against imaginary beasties in which no attempt at quality control has been made, her one noticeable intellectual engagement with the material being to have ordered it under a series of loosely-defined headings - of which the first is:

#1. Mental Struggle

In the early stages of abduction the victim feels helpless and paralysed.

“Mental Struggle involves sustained willpower while attempting to move some small part of the body such as a finger or toe”.

The abducting aliens are often deterred by this, as one would expect.

“A sense of outrage against the entities' violation of the witness's human rights must be maintained as well”.

Obviously the sort of alien who is put off so easily is at the more wimpish end of the scale; unfortunately some require more drastic measures, so we turn to:

#2. Physical Struggle

Before they can paralyse you, set about them with your fists or a heavy implement. Firearms can be handy too, though they

“are not recommended in urban or suburban areas where small children and/or innocent bystanders may be jeopardized”.

Wise words, indeed. Bear in mind, though, that

“the intent should never be to kill or seriously injure the intruders, but to inform them that their presence is violating the witness's right to privacy”.

Take the case of Billy Wolfe, whose abduction in 1974 left him with “a small, hard object” in his groin and an inability to socialise with women. Understandably, he blamed the UFOs which visited him regularly thereafter for his lack of success in finding a wife. In August 1988 things came to a head:

“... Billy's mother awoke, hearing a scratching noise on the side of the house. Mrs. Wolfe called for help, and Billy instantly came running with his gun and flashlight. ... one of the entities was standing before [the hall window], outside the house. Billy shot at the window, and the creature disappeared from view. Since there was no dead alien body left behind, the creature either dematerialized or the bullet passed through it in a paraphysical manner - or it was fast enough to get out of the way of a speeding bullet. Unexplained mysteries like this make up the UFO phenomenon. If each tiny mystery could be solved, scientists could possibly find the broad answers ufologists have been seeking for fifty years.”

Not only does she entirely believe Billy when he says he saw an alien, she takes his shooting abilities on trust as well. The illusionist Derren Brown once did a show in which he met Anne Druffel and managed to convince her that he had psychic abilities; on the strength of this book I reckon any of us could do the same. Her critical faculties seem woefully under-developed.

For those less disposed to outright violence, there is:

#3. Righteous Anger

Again before paralysis sets in, it is useful to get very annoyed about the violation of one's rights. Shouting “Leave me alone” or “Go away” may also help. If such expressions are too mild for your temperament don't worry as you can let fly when you employ:

#4. Protective Rage

This is displeasure expressed on behalf of other more helpless members of your household, such as children, cats, husbands, guinea pigs and so forth. Some well-chosen cursing may be in order, which Ms. Druffel terms “strong, rejecting language”, as long as it is combined with “a wish that the intruders not be harmed”. Perhaps “Kindly fuck off gentle visitor, you are alarming my gerbils”?

Don't worry if you cannot face the peril alone, you snivelling weed, but get:

#5. Support From Family Members

Assuming you can find a family member or friend who believes your story, you can ask them for help. In one touching case the husband of one unfortunate lady installed ceiling fans in every room “of his own volition” because she felt they helped keep the intruders at bay.

Even more powerful than a ceiling fan is one of the most subtle forms of defence:

#6. Intuition

Sometimes, when you feel that intruders are approaching, the mere act of mental preparation for their coming repels them. Ms. Druffel does not mention that this technique works just as well for attacks by other unwanted types of intruder: for example, one recent night I intuited that a gigantic centipede was trying to get into my house through the letterbox, but when I went to look it wasn't there.

Even this powerful technique won't always work, but don't despair, you can always employ:

#7. Metaphysical Methods

“Envision protecting, bright white light coming from a source above you, flowing through the top of the head, spreading downward through the entire body, and extending out a few inches around you”.

Or, as one might put it: 'get lit up'.

Other metaphysical methods include “internal sound”, which I can vouch for as effectively repulsive, and “out of the body experience”.

Tried those and still bothered by troublesome abductors? Why not:

#8. Appeal to Spiritual Personages

When several four-foot high grey entities enter your bedroom with the aim of taking you away and implanting metal objects in your anus - pray. (You'd never have thought of that yourself, would you?)

In case of last resort, turn to:

#9. Repellents

A category which includes such potent stuffs as

“Herbs, flower oils and essential oils ... yarrow, St. John's Wort and pennyroyal ... salt ... iron bars, crucifixes, and crosses of iron ... metal fans and bar magnets ...”

These aliens are a feeble lot aren't they? “Oh no! Essential oils! Urgh! Let's get out of here! Ooh! Aggh! Salt! Oh crikey, bar magnets! Lor, lumme, geroff!”.

Conclusion

There you have it. If you believe Ms Druffel, you are now fully equipped to fend off any extra-terrestrial or inter-dimensional beings who are after your body for horrible unstated purposes. (One defence she does not mention is to keep a container full of the sort of emissions they seek beside one's bed, as a sort of offering: apparently that is invariably effective in keeping them away.)

Some might feel that - rather than maintaining the delusion - it would be better to deal with the underlying causes, though when she enquired Susan Clancy found that many of her subjects were actually attached to their abduction experiences and thought them valuable, albeit terrifying. If aliens have travelled millions of miles just to ram a silvery metal rod up your bottom, that presumably makes you more interesting than someone who merely has a sleep disorder. Personally, I'd prefer any aliens I encounter to be hallucinatory rather than real, but I'm strange like that.

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Comments

Submitted by The Meaning of Life (not verified) on 19 Mar 2013 - 05:17 Permalink

I would first like to add that giving comments, or even thinking about such things in any case makes you a target for dark forces, and I make an exception here because my intuition (intuition is never wrong) deems this site not as "watched" as much as others (at least in the near future). The sheer size of the evil that plauges this world extends far beyond these paracites (grey aliens) and it is all happening because people chose it to be so. Service to self (self worship) results in the horrible world (in God's eyes) today, and the vast majority of people don't and can't fathom it's depth. (How could one be so ignorant?) Just look around, I mean, it is the blind leading the blind everywhere! The only way to prevent your brother from being controled and deprived of freedom (greatest of divine rights) is truth, that double-edged sword that came out of Jesus's mouth. Breaking the commandments only results in hell and suffering, and there is a very Good reason why YOUR CREATOR forbids you from doing such things and destroying heaven, and hence why you were sent here on Earth for a second chance before your execution. Humanity would not have such problems as alien abductions or constat wars if they did what their creator told them to do, the same goes for the grey aliens (they obviously chose a darker path). Use that head you where given (just try to create a universe as beautiful as this one) and be what God intended you to be... Be youself. You are light, you are love.
May the truth be your weapon against, and Faith in God be your Armor against, The darkness...

The double edged blade of truth...
Made of Light
Designed with Wisdom
Forged with Willpower
Tempered with Disipline
Sharpened with Experience
Wielded with Courage
Powered by THE FORCE

THE FORCE is the most powerful thing in the universe... It is Love. The heart of Go(o)d.
The Truth will set you free.
The definition of LOVE is "I AM YOU"
I love you, and you should heed my word, but much, much more importantly you should heed the word of your Creator, especially if you like to exist.
Fear of God is the start of Wisdom

May the Force by with you, you are going to need it, we all are.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 03 Jun 2010 - 19:28 Permalink

It's not sleep paralysis check out barnie and betty hill's story she came back with a detailed starmap of where the alien grey's home planet was located and noone had discovered this star system until 10 or 15 years later. The Zeti Reticuli star system has also gotten some NASA attention as having 2 suns very similar to ours and holds a very high possibility of having life. If it is sleep paralysis they are seeing future visions which I'm sure the main stream science doesn't believe in either. Also Billie Meier people have tried to prove his pictures and videos of alien craft and distant planets for over 20 years and have not been able to. He also had rock samples that proved to be new elements and could not have been produced on Earth. So sleep paralysis is a really unlikely explaination if people are coming back with some physical evidence of their abductions.
Submitted by melissa (not verified) on 26 Apr 2015 - 11:44 Permalink

THATZ KRAZYYY!!..THIS STARTED HAPPENING TO ME SINCE I WAS LITTLE IT JUST KEEPS GETTING KRAZYYER AND KRAZYER ONE TIME IT HAPPENED TO ME IN THE MORNING I COULD MOVE TALK OR NOTHING AND MY PHONE WAS RINGING BUT I COULDNT GET UP TO ANSWER IT AFTER IT STOPPED THE MISS CALL SAID AN HOUR AGO SOO MY PHONE KEPT TRACK OF HOW LONG IT HAPPENED TO ME I FOUND THAT BY SAYING GOD OR JESUS CHRIST IT LEAVES U ALONE

Submitted by melissa (not verified) on 26 Apr 2015 - 11:46 Permalink

I ment i couldnt move or nothing..and while this would happen i would hear sumttin calling my name saying hello one time it shook my bed and me and another time i saw chainz beige drapes and green lights in my room

Submitted by tengri_gim (not verified) on 22 Nov 2009 - 14:50 Permalink

This reminds me of information given for free, oddy enough, some 40 odd pages no less about the "truth about ufo's". The ads were all over multi level marketing rags in the early 90s. The information was obviously put out by the government. And they had profiled mlm people as amenable to coercion or something. Advice was something like stockpile weapons. Get a shotgun and load it with deer slugs to pierce the hull of a craft. Get some night vision. Get a gun in .223 caliber, such as a ruger mini-14. Oh and show up at places like area 51 and look for craft. It was so rediculous but you know a few nutjobs, the ones "profiled" by the study by some three letter agency will follow the advice. I can just imagine the investigation as they issue a search warrant for your house and when they find your "truth about ufo's" (or its a murder investigation initiated after they find your dead body in the woods due to a "hunting accident" testing your night vision scope) at home along with ammo and books on how to make silencers and your stash of "french post cards". What you doing here fellow? Oh, i'm huntin aliens. Oh yeah the us government has made a pact with aliens, something about eating us for food or something and so we must do whatever we can to fight them. The human race depends on those willing to do the work for their country and humanity. According to this secret information. Government agencys and military bases are "bases" for aliens and I guess thats all the reason to show up on government land in a pick up truck with a stockpile of weapons and infrared night vision. Yeah i'm huntin aliens.
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 17 Aug 2009 - 22:11 Permalink

Aliens abduct Anonymous, but Anonymous is many, Anonymous is legion, Anonymous cannot be abducted by SPESS ELFS. Any Anonymous who has been abducted is simply an impostor who is new to the internets or an alien trying to disguise itself as an FBI agent disguised as an under-aged child.
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 23 Jun 2009 - 04:00 Permalink

hi i am just a kid and i think down my street in a factory there are aleins and i plan on fighting them with my 5 friends and know i know how to defend my self and tomorow i am going after them thank you if i die thats okay bye
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 18 Apr 2009 - 05:50 Permalink

awesome my bestfriend is terryfied of aliens i read this to her and she was freaked out;personally i dont believe in aliens but this is an intersting way to scare my friend haha thanks for the info. it helped my friend not to get raped by an alien lol
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 09 Mar 2009 - 19:14 Permalink

I've been physically dragged out of bed right in front of my wife and have woken up to a shadowy being sitting on me in which I felt and interacted with me for at least 15-20 seconds before I passed out. Sounds bizzare? Will imagine living through with it as a reality. I use to scoff at other people for such wild tales until I experienced my own.
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 02 Nov 2008 - 23:36 Permalink

Hmmm No comments since published in 1998. Well, here is a clue for countering alien abductions: the reptilians are apparently at the top of the pecking order, including the telepathic and control abilities. And, they are not bothered by the Grey's attempts at this. While neither Greys or Reptilians are human friends, perhaps we can figure out what is it about earthbound reptilian creatures that could be used to fend off the Greys. Maybe a hissing sound.....